Tough Guise

The idea that masculinity is constructed socially and historically gives men the hope for change. If masculinity is a socially constructed idea there is a possibility that men could change it with new ideas. Throughout history, many different aspects of culture change; therefore, masculinity can change as well.
Masculinity is complicated by the opinions of other men. Men are worried that other men might think they are sissies if they defend women or minorities. They are cautious of what they wear, making sure that it isn’t too feminine. Men are worried about their actions because they believe that other men define their manhood. Homophobia “is the fear that other men will unmask” men. Men are afraid that men will view them as unmanly. For this reason, men do not want act afraid or ashamed because that would be unmasculine. Because homosexual people may not be afraid to show fear, men are scared of them. They do not want to be associated with them. I believe the idea of being a sissy is a definite part of homophobia and masculinity. I remember seeing boys in junior high school who were worried about being too girly. My brother, who is 13, is worried about what his friends think of him. My father also puts a lot of pressure on him to be a “man,” to do Boy scouts, play sports, etc.
Tough guise is the idea that you can only show qualities that are “manly” such as powerful, respected, athletic, muscular, and tough. They learn this idea from family, friends, and media. Violence seems to be a large part of masculinity. Masculinity is largely represented by these ideas in society. Katz believes there must be alternatives to this violence because it could cause great problems. Most murders and violence are committed by men. Women and men will both benefit if the idea of masculinity is changed. There is a cost to men’s psyche from the idea of masculinity. Therefore, the whole institution of society must work to change the idea of masculinity. Women validate “tough guise” in men. Women must change this idea so that men are less afraid to show their true self. Society as a whole has set up an idea of what men should be, if men want to get rid of their “tough guise” society needs to change the social norm.

Critical Journal Response #5

It is interesting to look at the difference between dating in the past and current dating. Our book describes courtship, a period of time where two people are attracted to each other (173). I believe that this term has been lost in current society. Sexual intimacy has started to come earlier in relationships. This might have to do with our culture such as media influences. They promote sexual activities outside of relationships as well as at an earlier age. Emotional intimacy has become more prevalent because sexual partners are becoming less concerned with emotional relationships. Another reason for the earlier onset of sexual intamcy could be male domination. Females are worried that having sex is associated with being promiscuous and some women may feel that the men they have a relationship with have control over their sexuality (170). When people get into relationships, women could feel an obligation to her partner to “tend to [his] daily needs,” making her feel less in control (170).
Furthermore, the earlier start of sexual intimacy may have to deal with the inability of couples to communicate. Women tend to talk with raised voices at the end, implying a question. This could create ambiguous ideas that could led to women being taken advantage of. Male speech is orienated towards getting what they want, while women speak to retain the relationship. If women want to keep the relationship alive and a male wants a specific thing out of it, the woman might be more likely to agree with want the male wants. In usual surveys, males desire sex more than women do (181). If a male wants sex and is demanding about what he wants, sexual intamcy might come earlier in the relationship.
There are other forms of intamcy that have changed throughout the years such as the creation of cybersex. Cybersex is also a result of an unability of males and females to communicate well with each other. It could also could cause problems such as feelings of isolation and harassment (175).
Relationships are complicated by sexual intimacy, communication, and ideas from the media. They seem to become more complicated as women become more involved with their careers.